Some of the best leaders are able to influence through inspiration, effectively motivating the people in their organization by empowering them to do their best work. Charisma, communication skills, and persuasiveness are a few qualities that can help leaders with their goals to affect change, but demonstrating authenticity is one of the greatest ways to connect with others on a deeper level.
When people feel like they know you and understand you, when they believe you are authentic in what you say, they are more likely to buy into the vision you are sharing with them.
Authenticity gives us the opportunity to forge stronger and better relationships with others, but behaving authentically can also be good for your own sake. Putting on a mask at work to hide what you are truly feeling — doing emotional labor — can be exhausting. In fact, acting cheerful while interacting with others when you really are not can eventually lead to burnout or dissatisfaction, and it can actually make you perform worse at your job.
So, you may wonder, if authenticity not only makes you more effective as a leader, but can also protect you from psychological strain and fatigue, why not be completely open and be yourself all of the time? Why should you ever put on a mask at work?
The answer requires some discernment on your part. For instance, in cases where authenticity can easily turn into unhelpful divulgence, you should refrain from being completely open. Sharing something about yourself — a story, opinion, or your current emotional state — with people in your organization is only useful when the act is in harmony with your company’s culture and established norms. Sharing your frustrations with your team about their performance may be authentic but it is not always going to be helpful.
Learning to be authentic without being tactless is an essential skill.
Balancing Authenticity with Boundaries
Sharing your authentic self with others, when done well, can help you rally your followers around a goal. When authenticity leads to healthy emotional connection, members of a team can find themselves invested in the shared vision you set up for them. However, when authenticity leads to blurred boundaries, the team may focus on the wrong things or want to disconnect entirely out of discomfort. Here are some things to keep in mind when deciding how to engage with displays of authenticity:
- Start with self-awareness. To be honest about yourself with others, you must first be honest about yourself to yourself. Without sufficient self-awareness, being authentically yourself may come across the wrong way. When engaging with authenticity, start with learning about your strengths and weaknesses. Be aware of the areas in which you have expertise, and those in which you still have more to learn.
- Is what you share not only relevant but also helpful? Maybe you are in a business meeting and want to tell a story about yourself related to the task at hand. Before telling the story, it could be a good idea to stop and consider what your goal is. What do you want others to get out of your story? Is there a lesson you want them to learn from it? If you can’t determine a reason that the story will help the team move closer to the goal, it might be a good idea to save it for another time.
- Disclosure with discretion. Often, we think leaders who are honest about their mistakes are admirable. And, in some situations, discussing your personal growth (which could very well start with a story of failure) can be inspiring and immensely helpful. However, being too honest about your shortcomings, inner turmoils, and failures may just result in making others uncomfortable — or, at worst, may even erode people’s confidence in you as a leader. Choose your displays of vulnerability mindfully.
- Adjusting your style isn’t being fake. A simplistic view of authenticity might suggest that changing how you lead with different people and in different situations is an example of being inauthentic or fake. However, adapting, learning, and growing is an essential step to becoming a great leader. Your values and vision may change over time, and you may need to adjust your leadership approach from context to context.
- Get feedback. Sometimes, we are surprised when we learn how someone else sees us. Perhaps we experience our own behavior as characterized by honesty and integrity — but, to others, that same behavior may be perceived as rude and demanding. As a leader, it’s always good to solicit feedback from others, especially from direct reports, about how you are being perceived. Your displays of authenticity could be unhelpful (or even harmful) in ways you were unaware of previously.
Situational awareness and self-awareness are two crucial components for authenticity that builds relationships. Without a keen sense of how to respect boundaries and adhere to the norms of your organization, authenticity may just cause discomfort and muddy the meaning of your messaging.
Using Authenticity to Fight Burnout
Surface acting (putting on the emotions required by a given situation — such as faking a smile and feigning cheerfulness) is a common reason customer service professionals especially find themselves burned out. And, even if you are not spending much time facing customers or clients on an average day at work, forcing a merry attitude when you’re really feeling tired and frustrated can begin to wear you down.
Although you will likely still need to hide negative emotions in professional settings to some extent, research suggests that focusing on the positive emotions can help protect you from the harmful effects of surface acting. And, when appropriate, expressing the negative ones can help, too.
Using Natural Emotions to Fight Burnout
- Authentically embrace positive emotions. If you find yourself in a good mood at work — perhaps you got excellent feedback on a new project or a problem you’ve been dealing with has just gotten solved — take the time to acknowledge and highlight those feelings. You may do so by performing a mindfulness exercise that centers those emotions, or perhaps you can take a short break to engage in an enjoyable activity to amplify your experience.
- Give some space for negative emotions. While it may not be appropriate to tell a coworker just how frustrating you find them, there will be some situations where admitting that you are upset can be helpful. Doing so can alert those around you as to how they can better support you, and even just admitting negative feelings in itself can alleviate stress. Just be careful to keep things professional.
- Model embracing good moods. As a leader, you can make a big difference if you outwardly express to others when you are experiencing positive emotions. Again, doing so can help you when you are feeling resource-depleted otherwise, but you will also be modeling advantageous behavior to those in your organization. In this way, you can equip others with the ability to offset the draining effects of emotional regulation.
Learning to balance the benefits of authenticity with the need for boundaries is worth the time and effort. When we are vulnerable enough to let people see our authentic selves in the right way, it creates trust and sets a foundation for deeper relationships with one another.
You're Not Alone
If you find yourself facing a challenge and are unsure of the best way to keep moving forward, let’s talk. We are an organizational effectiveness consulting company and have helped countless individuals and organizations through difficult circumstances. We would love to be part of your journey as you navigate the successes and uncertainties that lie ahead. Please contact us for a no-obligation, free consultation by clicking this link: Innovative Connections or calling us at 970-279-3330.
Our mission is to give voice and action to an emerging future. As a partner in your success, we would love to help you find your voice, see your vision, and imagine what the right action could be for you, your team, and your organization.