As we grow in our careers, gaining experience and perspective, we might encounter less seasoned professionals seeking us out for advice and guidance. And, sometimes, if we connect to the person asking us for help, we may take them under our wing and guide them along their journey to develop a strong professional identity. The best mentorships benefit both the protégé (through promotion or other forms of career advancement) and the mentor (through personal fulfillment witnessing their protégé’s success, or even in their own career advancement in some cases).
In many organizations, mentor and protégé relationships occur informally (although, some do have formal programs), and they are often more deeply personal than other career-related relationships (such as a coach with organizationally codified role expectations). Mentors go above and beyond what is expected of them by voluntarily dedicating their time and resources to guiding their mentee.
As a result, even under the best conditions, being a mentor can be difficult and emotionally taxing. However, with the new standard of the workplace being partially (or even entirely) virtual, the role of ‘mentor’ has gotten more complicated. Fewer opportunities for in-person meetings and hybrid schedules that may conflict can lead to less frequent informal interaction, which can restrict the mentor’s ability to connect with their protégé and properly address their needs.
A transition into virtual mentoring may seem to threaten the effectiveness of a mentorship. If you are used to meeting face-to-face, interacting exclusively through scheduled video calls instead may make you worry you will begin to lose that meaningful connection.
But, by reassessing your goals and changing your assumptions about what a good mentorship looks like, it’s possible to adjust to the unfamiliar and sometimes tumultuous environment of remote mentoring.
Making virtual mentoring more effective
Many mentorships are not structured by the organization. Mentees receive guidance from their mentors often through spontaneous interactions — while chatting over lunch in the breakroom or striking up conversation after a ‘hello’ passing one another’s office. These occasions of informal interaction are less likely to occur in a virtual environment. And, if either mentor or mentee is not sufficiently motivated to continue these meetings, that mentor-protégé dynamic may become less effective or fizzle out entirely.
Even if the organization does have official expectations for mentors to interact with their mentees, the relationship may become more formal and task-oriented, potentially losing mentorship’s unique benefits to personal advancement (such as mentors guiding the development of a sense of self even beyond one’s professional identity).
In such a scenario, rethinking how the mentorship should be conducted and setting up a new set of expectations can help.
- Realign expectations. Have a conversation with your virtual mentee about the structure of the mentorship. How often does the person expect to meet with you? How often can you realistically meet with them? How will you ensure that these expectations are met? What are the mentee’s individual development needs? What is ‘off-limits’ to discuss during meetings? What can the mentee expect from you as their mentor, but also what can you expect from them?
- Emphasize your role as a source of information. Mentors are there to guide their protégés in their professional and personal development. While part of the job is to help them solve their problems, another part of the job is offering your expertise. Providing such insight may be less common in a virtual setting when meetings are often formally scheduled and constrained by time. So, encourage your mentees to be inquisitive. Perhaps ask them to bring at least one question to each meeting that isn't related to a current issue they’re having, but simply about a topic they’d like to understand better.
- Use technology mindfully. Make it easier for your mentees to reach out to you and schedule times to talk. Reducing the effort it takes to plan a meeting gives you more time and resources to make those meetings effective. For instance, rather than exchanging a series of emails to arrange a call, you can set up an online form with ‘office hours’ where people can schedule a time slot with one click.
- Take extra care with emotional needs. When you are not regularly face-to-face with someone, it can be easier to miss signs of burnout or stress. Although you should avoid taking the role of therapist, you should ensure that your mentees know that they can come to you for emotional support. Consider starting meetings with a brief check-in on their emotional state. And be sure to create an environment where they can feel safe disclosing what is challenging them (perhaps by first discussing it yourself).
What to do when you’re overwhelmed
Keeping up a good relationship with your mentee(s) is one thing. Sustaining the amount of effort you will need to be a good mentor is another, especially if you are mentoring quite a few people. Additionally, in a virtual environment, the added effort needed to plan interactions, set up good boundaries, and deal with challenges that feel disconnected and distant to you may come with even greater demand on your resources.
To avoid burning yourself out while mentoring people virtually, you may want to keep these best practices and alternative options in mind:
- Communication quality vs. quantity. It is a good idea to communicate with your mentees frequently. However, communication that is too frequent can become overwhelming, and may lead only to burnout and no real benefit to the mentee. Instead of trying to meet with mentees as often as possible, create a more sustainable schedule and focus instead on communication quality. Set up healthy communication practices (such as how soon your mentee can expect you to reply to their email), and be mindful when preparing for meetings so you can get to what is most important every time. Encourage your mentees to do the same, such as contemplating before each meeting which of their individual needs is most crucial to address on that occasion.
- Make meetings proactive, not always reactive. Don’t allow every meeting to be about what’s going wrong. Addressing problems is a part of your role, but remember that your job as a mentor is to also influence your protégé and help them grow. For example, you might choose to recommend a book you found particularly inspiring, and then spend another meeting discussing it with them. Perhaps encourage them to attend a conference you think would benefit them. You could even assign a project that they would find exciting and valuable. Mentoring should be fun and fulfilling for both parties, not a constant source of stress.
- Create mentee teams. You don’t have to be the sole resource of development for all of your mentees. And, in fact, they may gain additional benefits from learning from and supporting one another. If you are mentoring a large number of people, consider who may have something to learn from whom, and create a team. For example, put together a group with diverse talents for an action learning project, where they can work together to solve a complex problem and then collaboratively reflect on and learn from the experience.
You don't have to do it alone
If you feel at a loss for how to develop a program to foster these meaningful relationships within your workforce, let’s talk. As an organizational effectiveness consulting company, we have helped many clients navigate the challenges that have resulted both from the pandemic and the rapidly changing landscape. We would love to be part of your journey as you navigate the successes and difficulties that lie ahead. If you’d like a free consultation to talk about how professional coaching, leadership development training, or strategy planning sessions can help you or your organization, we’d love to talk. Contact us for a no-obligation, free consultation by clicking this link: Innovative Connections or calling us at
970-279-3330.
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